TONGAN UPDATE 23 AUGUST 2008 WE WERE JUST AS FRIENDS

Tongan Update, 23 August 2008, We were there just as Friends

We had only been in Tonga for a few weeks when the Christensen’s (previous Office Couple) told us about ‘a lady’ that the Evans (prior Office Couple) had mentioned to them. The Murdock’s (prior Office Couple to the Evans) had introduced ‘the lady’ to the Evans…so ‘Otuagu (spelling used on the Funeral Service Program) has had a long line of Mormon missionaries interested in her. They made comments like, “She will never join the Church, but she is a ‘nice lady’. She loves to have someone read to her.”

Elder Thompson and I decided we needed to meet ‘this lady’ so we called her on the phone, introduced ourselves, and invited her to lunch. She with her Australian accent said, “That would be delightful.” Therefore, we also had the opportunity to come to love this wonderful ninety-four year old woman. She reminded us so much of John’s mother—small framed, independent, intelligent, cute sense of humor, energetic, and just plain fun.

‘Otuagu is related to the royal family through her mother’s side, and is German on her father’s side. She spent most of her life in Australia, but after the death of her husband, she returned to her home in Tonga.

A few weeks ago she wasn’t feeling well. We went to visit her, read to her, and give her a blessing. She held onto our hands and didn’t want us to leave. “Please don’t leave me alone!” she said.

Her illness worsened, and she was taken to the hospital where she was diagnosed with cancer. The doctors gave her a week to live. When her family, all living in New Zealand or Australia, couldn’t obtain flights to Tonga because of the Coronation of the King, Elder Thompson and I tried to spend more time with her. As we sat in that small hospital room, ‘Otuagu with a raspy voice, told us about her life. Her World War II experiences were very similar to my own parents. Both were married as the war broke out. Both husbands fought against the Germans, and both ‘Otuagu and my mom had baby girls while their men were overseas. We prayed with her and for her. John, Elder Karratti, and Elder Pasi gave her another blessing to give her peace and comfort--no extension of life or healing, just comfort and peace.

‘Otuagu passed away last week. Five of her six children were at her bedside. A member of the family called us and invited us to attend the funeral services at the St. Paul’s Anglican Church.

We arrived early, were given a program at the door, and sat down on a bench about 6 rows behind the family. While sitting there, a young girl came and invited us to sit on a bench in the front and to the side of the chapel facing the casket (pine box). We told her that we were fine sitting where we were. She looked puzzled and motioned us to follow her. A woman on the row in front of us turned and said, “You need to move to the front.” Reluctantly, we got up and moved to the seats that had been assigned to us. We weren’t feeling very comfortable there. We felt pretty conspicuous, and John could actually see into a room where the priests were preparing for the meeting.

At three o’clock the church tower bell rang several times, and then three priests paraded down the center aisle from the back to the front of the chapel. Each of them were wearing long robes and carried a candle or a cross. The priests followed exactly the seventeen page program that was printed in a pamphlet and given to each of us. They followed the program word for word, song for song. Family members stood and read scriptures. Little was mentioned about ‘Otuagu, the person.

Towards the end of the program, the priest turned toward Elder Thompson and me and thanked us for coming and for caring about ‘Otuagu. We smiled and nodded to recognize his remarks. He looked at the family and said, “I’d like to depart from the program for a minute, if it is alright.” The family nodded approval. He then turned towards us, called us by name, and we “think” he chastised us. His words were veiled, and their meanings were hidden. A darkness settled over us. Individually, Elder and Thompson and I both thought, “What is going on here? Why is he doing this? We are here to honor ‘Otuagu.” “Regardless of your efforts,” the priest said, “‘Otuagu remained faithful to our church.” He continued on for about 5 minutes, but it was those words that made us realize he was rebuking us. What a strange thing to do during a funeral services.

After the services and after we had time to think about it, we believe the priest perceived us as “the enemy” trying to steal a member of his congregation, but we were just friends to ‘Otuagu. We were at the funereal at request of her family, and we were there because we wanted to represent several other missionaries who cared for and loved this ‘lady.’ The Murdocks and Evans had some wonderful things to say about ‘Otuagu. These kind of messages were never mentioned at the funeral:

Sister Murdock emailed, “I really would like to have seen ‘Otuagu’s face when she met with her family and now knows that there is a life hereafter. What a fun reunion for her.”

Sister Evan’s summed it up nicely when she emailed, “What a really sweet Christ-like person ‘Otuagu was and will always remain in our fondest memories.”

‘Ofa ‘atu, Elder and Sister Thompson